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The LeBron Olympics
Let me just say, right off the top, that LeBron James is the greatest athlete on planet Earth. Just watching him play basketball, you know he could play any sport and win. He looks like a man among boys out there, even when some of the boys are half a foot taller than he is.

He has speed, strength, size, agility, touch, vision, hand/eye coordination, and the will to win. He may even be the greatest athlete of the last hundred years — or ever. Now, please don’t come at me with your Michael Jordans, your Jim Thorpes, your Bo Jacksons, or whatever other great athlete you might suggest. Just picture any of them standing next to LeBron James, dress them in any uniform you like, then tell me they could beat LeBron …at anything. Unless you insist on getting into very specific cases (like the hundred-meter dash, say), you are just not being serious if you pick anyone besides King James.

Okay, I suppose Roger Federer would beat him at tennis, and Tony Hawk could out-skateboard him, but beyond those narrow fields of expertise, LeBron would crush them. No disrespect, but there it is.

If you are still not convinced, perhaps we should conduct a thought experiment involving an imaginary Olympics. Here are the rules: LeBron against the other top contenders for greatest athlete, all competing in every individual sport in the modern Summer Olympics (no Winter Olympics, I’m afraid — they’re just too silly).

First, track and field. Bo Jackson and Jim Brown (or Deion Sanders, if you must) might edge LeBron in the sprints, but he or MJ would take most of the other races. LeBron would go on to sweep the field events — and, of course, the decathlon (the winner of which, incidentally, if often referred to as the “world’s greatest athlete”). He’d win that event, by the way, with a new Olympic record.

In swimming, it’s all Lebron (unless Michael Phelps is competing). In gymnastics, you’d have to favor the smaller athletes, but I’d still place LeBron in the top three. Same with diving. Rhythmic gymnastics would be a runaway, with LeBron excelling with a particularly creative ball routine.

Wrestling: no contest. Boxing: probably, although Jim Brown might win on ferocity alone. Trampoline: of course. As far as all those ridiculous events involving horses and rifles and boats and bicycles, I’m just going to write in LeBron as well, but I won’t waste our time arguing about it.

And that’s it. LeBron James wins the LeBron Olympics, a zillion to practically nothing. And you know why? Because he’s the greatest athlete of all time.
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