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In these days of aging baby boomers flooding the media with all their nagging medical problems, we were bound to have this sad affliction shoved in our faces sooner or later. Male menopause, they’re calling it (or andropause if you’re a doctor who needs the business). These are the fancy names that boomers use to describe what used to be an inability to cut the mustard.

Let’s be clear from the start that nobody is certain that this malady even exists. There is some evidence that “low T” (for testosterone, hormone of the gods) can contribute to non-manliness, although no real man should ever admit that. Privately, I will concede that, as you get older, everything gets lower, T included. That, however, is not a medical condition. It’s old age, my friend, and a sign that you won’t be living forever.

That said, I do believe there is another condition, similar to menopause, that is visited on men once they turn 70. Let’s call it manopause. As with women undergoing menopause, it involves a shift in state of mind. (Yes, I know there’s more to menopause than that, but it’s pretty unpleasant, so let’s skip it.)

With women, the shift seems to include the sudden realization that they’re in their 50s, childbearing is out of the picture, and that there is no time left to be patient anymore about anything — particularly clueless men. Often, their view of life becomes broader and more practical, and they’re less willing to put up with any foolishness that gets in their way. (I should report here, in the interest of scientific inquiry, that my wife tells me I have my head up my ass, but that assertion on her part only confirms my hypothesis.) Anyway, I find these traits admirable, which is why I think we need more women, and possibly only women, in charge of running our government.

But what about men? Do we ever attain this praiseworthy clarity of mind? In my opinion, no. We do, however, undergo a similar transition — manopause. I have no doubt that low T is somehow involved, but once again I don’t want to dwell on unpleasantness. Symptoms are what is important, not root causes.

As I have said, the onset of manopause most often occurs in the 70s. It produces the same impatience, the same we-haven’t-got-time-for-this attitude we see in women. But for men, it’s different. At the same moment we are feeling the pressure to get things done, we’re also realizing that, hey dude, there’s no rush. I’m old, you tell yourself. Why should I rush anywhere at this point? This is the time to kick back.

In other words, we arrive at the same place that menopause delivers women, but by the time we get there, it’s too late to be bothered. We’re down for all that no-nonsense practicality, but also perfectly content to leave it to the young folks.

Manopause, more than anything else, means freedom, my brothers.
Trump supporters are people who know what they believe.
~ JC, Bonny Doon