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I Want to Be in That Number
Let me take a moment, if I may, to talk statistics.

First, and I think most compelling, is that the San Francisco Giants have the best record in all of baseball. That number is .644, wins against losses. Another impressive number: 109 home runs, also the best of any team in the MLB game.

I have a couple more stats for you as well. The Giants pitching staff has the 4th best earned run average in baseball; their defense is the 2nd most efficient; (and just for fun) they have recorded more RBIs from their pinch hitters than any other team so far in 2021.

Statistics can only take you so far, of course. You still have to play 162 games and grind through the playoffs to the World Series if you want to have the chance to become World Champions. In other words, you have to keep winning every game that you can — especially the very last one that you play.

I am not making any predictions. I will only say that I am pleased and a bit surprised by the current successes of my team. It is one thing to cultivate the default conviction that your team can and will go all the way, but to elevate that belief to a bankable certainty is folly. Moreover, such talk is a dangerous diversion from the mission at hand — and quite often the hallmark of a losing attitude.

That will not happen on my watch. I am luxuriating in these dazzling statistics right now, but my attention remains fixed, as it should be, on the ball. Hit it, catch it, throw it. The rest will take care of itself.
Things are getting better
Things are getting worse
We are now unfettered
We are now accursed

One or the other
Or maybe it’s both
Either or neither
The least or the motht

We will know later
Which one it is
Lesser or greater
‘Tisn’t or ‘tis
It's Just a Theory
Just for fun, why don’t we try a little conspiracy theorizing? I know…it requires blindness to the truth, a complete rejection of common sense, and the nullification everything that the scientific method has ever revealed. But it must have something going for it if almost half of the country is doing it.

Let’s make one little change, however, from the usual m.o. of the hoax folks. Instead of trying to justify our deep feelings of grievance and supposed persecution, why don’t we mobilize our imaginations to conceive of conspiracies that are designed to make the world a better place?

We’ll start right in the middle of today’s headlines. If you are on the left of the political spectrum (why else would you be reading this blog?), then you are probably frustrated with the antics of Joe Manchin right now. He seems to be the only thing stopping the surprisingly liberal agenda of Joe Biden from getting through Congress. Well, not to worry. There is something secret and wonderful going on in the smoke-filled rooms of Washington, D.C.

This whole drama with the filibuster and HR-1 and the silly infrastructure soap opera are just part of an elaborate scheme to save American democracy and the economy in one political masterstroke. If you can just step back for a moment and take in the whole picture, it’s really the only explanation that makes sense. Believe me, everything is going to be just fine.

And then there’s the global warming hoax. No, not the one you’re thinking of. I’m talking about the hoax perpetrated by scientists all over the world and their co-conspirators in Big Media. Their aim is to make you believe that lots of people don’t believe in science. Again, let me stress that these plotters are not motivated by greed or revenge or hatred. Instead, they want to make sure that we are adequately concerned by the possibility of a hot Earth and the end of civilization.You know, so we don’t get complacent and begin to backslide in our recycling. It’s really kind of obvious when you think about it.

I mean, that’s got to be it, right? Why would any person who lives in this world of wonders made possible by science ever question that science works? I, for one, eagerly await the successful completion of this covert effort by the press and the scientific community to make all of our lives better.

Finally, one last example: taxing the rich. Very shortly, I believe, this decades-old secret planning that has been going on among public officials of all political stripes will finally bear fruit. The rich, the well-to-do, and anybody else with way too much money will begin to be taxed at a rate commensurate with the benefits they receive from living in a free society. The result (it almost goes without saying) would be better for everyone, including the rich. The wealth gap would shrink to practically nothing, the oppressed would be lifted up, the economy would take off like a rocket, and we would all be on our way to heaven on Earth.

I’m not sure exactly when all of this will roll out, but according to my sources on Chatface, WhatsApe, and Darkweebly, it could be as early as next week. Doesn’t that sound splendiferous?

So you see, this whole conspiracy thing doesn’t have to be the sole province of the cruel and mean-spirited. Pollyannas and Goodfairies like you and I can play, too! It’s gonna be great!
All things considered, I think our relationship is pretty healthy. We seem to work pretty well together, at least, and we have learned to accept each other’s shortcomings.

I can only speak for myself, of course, but I don’t sense any serious doubts or resentments between us. There is never the slightest hint of blaming if I refuse to honor her ideas. And if I become a little cross if her advice proves faulty, I know she won’t harbor any ill will.

Apologies are not necessary from either one of us. I can’t honestly say that ours is a relationship built on trust, but there is a mutual assumption that we are both trying our best to reach a common goal.

We are different in many ways, but those differences are what makes our collaboration work. I’m a big picture guy, she’s a number cruncher. I’m goal-oriented, she’s all about the journey. And, perhaps most important, I am a man of mature years, and she is a relatively young automobile navigational device.

Don’t laugh; I don’t know where I’d be without her…but she does.
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Trump supporters are people who know what they believe.
~ JC, Bonny Doon