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Internot
Sorry if I’m a bit late with this news, but I guess I was asleep at the switch. It’s about buying stuff on the internet. We shouldn’t do it.

I know. I should have said something back in the 90s. I remember ordering my first iMac (a teal egg-shaped wonder) online and having it arrive the next day on my doorstep. It was cheaper than I could have gotten it at a store, and there was no driving, parking, or interacting with strangers. A miracle delivered by our modern age!

Part of me knew then that it was all too good to be true. There would be some price to pay for this miracle, some reckoning to balance the scales. But I was too smitten by the ease of the transaction to listen to the warning signals. I did not want to question my good luck.

But now, twenty-plus years later, the bill has come due. Brick-and-mortar outlets are withering, malls are collapsing, globalization is in full swing, and the robots are coming for us. I’m not saying that this is the end of western civilization, but I am hinting at it very strongly.

We are all responsible for the pickle we find ourselves in, but allow me to confess my own complicity. I was seduced, as I have said, and it has taken me two decades to face up to what I have done. I could take all the goods I have foolishly acquired, haul them to the dump, and start fresh, but that seems extreme. Besides, I just got my latest iMac, and I love it.

Which is part of the problem. I’m pretty far into this thing now, and almost every purchase has been perfectly satisfactory. Refunds and exchanges have been easy, too, deepening my dependence on this brave new system. But enough of my excuses. I’m sorry. For the lost jobs, for the cratering of civilization, for the extinction of the human race. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

But I’m keeping the new iMac.

Sorry.

Please Note: Tim Eagan will read your comments but he is currently not publishing them.

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No "new normal" for me, this shit ain't normal.
~ MS, Truckee