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The Future Felon
I am certainly no expert at reading tea leaves. For one thing, I rarely drink tea. For another, it’s damn near impossible when they put them in those little bags. I don’t know, maybe I’m doing something wrong.


Anyway, I also have problems with my political predictions because I tend to let my personal feelings get in the way. One needs detachment to make sound judgments about the future. The leaves I am trying to read here are those that pertain to the future of the current resident of the White House. I am way too emotionally involved with this topic. It’s so bad, I can’t even stand to speak his name, much less forecast the exact date of his eviction.

For a while, like most people, I was basing my projections on his actions. Ever since he entered presidential politics and began doing the unthinkable, I and everyone else have been predicting his fall. But each time, no matter what the offense, he has escaped and moved on, seemingly unscathed. And so we see that none of those outrages-of-the-day has been any help in our political prognostication. So now I intend to focus on the words and actions of other people. Is there something in their response to He-who-must-not-be-named that might somehow hint at our future?

Again, let me stress that I’ve had very little success with this kind of fortune telling. Not only can I not bear to speak his name, the mere thought of it summons the taste of bile in my mouth. It clouds my thinking. For a while, I was projecting that he’d be out by Washington’s Birthday, 2018. Even though that was only a joke designed to get a rise out of people, I was genuinely crushed when it didn’t happen.

But that was before. This time, I am trying to leave my feelings (and any direct thoughts about him) out of it. Instead, I will go with an evidence-based approach. Scientific leaf reading, if you like. Let me give you an example: just today, Judge Andrew Napolitano — on Fox and Friends, of all places — suggested that Goldfungus may in fact be guilty of a felony for authorizing that hush money for Stormy Daniels. For a regular talking head over at Fox News, this would ordinarily amount to heresy.

Fox’s Laura Ingraham, lantern-jawed defender of the Orange Julius Caesar, dared to disagree with his recent assertion that The Wall has already been partly built. Though she didn’t say so, she was siding with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer on that one. When was the last time something like that happened? Tucker Carlson has been tough on the president for over a year now (mainly because he wasn’t rabid enough about immigrants), but recently Tucker has added such jibes as “unfocused” and “boastful” (gosh, really?) to his list of complaints.

I don’t want to make too much of these examples. Fox remains, after all, the main megaphone for White House apologists and conspiracy mongers. Still, I see a trend. Michael Ramirez, a prominent right-wing colleague of mine (strong art, at least) produced a cartoon last week depicting T.Reeks as repellently ugly and even a tad cray-cray. That is unprecedented ink, coming from that pen.

And then there are all the people who decided not to take the job of White House Chief of Staff. That’s a rough total of 7.7 billion people (minus Mean Mick Mulvaney, who will soon join me in regretting the day he was born). That’s a lot of tea leaves, and they all seem to be saying that no sane person wants to get anywhere near the Cheeto-in-Chief.

And, lastly, there are ex-pals Michael Cohen and David Pecker (look it up in the dictionary — that’s his picture you see). They have both turned against the Bellowing Tangelo in a big way, transforming their undying support into dead weights around his bloated, bottle-bronze neck.

The Big Bag of Leaves is the Senate Republicans. I don’t see any of those leaves turning quite yet. Still, you hear plenty of scuttlebutt about deep dissatisfaction among these G.O.P. poohbahs. That disgruntlement will only go public once we get the long-awaited report from Robert Swan Mueller III. That may well be the biggest tea leaf of all, but it’s still not here. If the trend continues, however, the end may well be near.

And it will continue. My scientific leaf reading confirms that it wilI. What it doesn’t confirm is when, so I guess we’ll just have to be patient. Sometime, maybe even sooner than we think, the season will be over for the Golden Hate Warrior.

Okay, I know that prediction sucks. We’d all prefer to know exactly when it’s going to happen. As you know, however, tea leaves can be very evasive. They are certain of one thing, though: the Ochre Ogre will go down.

Please Note: Tim Eagan will read your comments but he is currently not publishing them.

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Trump supporters are people who know what they believe.
~ JC, Bonny Doon