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One More Time
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but for the last few years I have been working on a time machine. It’s pretty far along, too. I’m in the process of running down one or two final bugs at this point, though I’m not sure how long that will take.

I’m not so interested in going forward in time, really. I suppose that getting a peek at the future might allow me to conduct some lucrative off-track betting on my return to the present, but no. Untold wealth is kind of appealing, but I’m scared silly of what else I might find in the future.

The idea for me is to go back in time and make a few corrections. Nothing big, really. I don’t want to tackle Lee Harvey Oswald in the Book Depository just before he assassinates JFK or kill baby Hitler in his crib. I’ll leave that to other, more heroic time travelers. I intend to concentrate on my own mistakes, none of which were particularly noteworthy to anyone but me.

Mostly, I just want to get rid of my regret. It uses up a surprisingly large amount of my time, even though some of those mess-ups happened years, even decades ago. I have no doubt that the other people affected by these mistakes have long since forgotten about them. I freely admit that this is mostly about my hang-ups, not theirs. But it’s my invention, after all, so I don’t feel too guilty about it.

As my work stands right now, the go-back-and-change-things part is mostly solved. That was surprisingly easy, as it turned out. It’s the bugs that are proving to be the real challenge. Take, for instance, the unforeseen-consequences bug. What if the small change I have in mind precipitates another change — an unwanted one — that screws things up here in the present? That situation might force me to go back again and do some fine tuning…which might require even finer tuning, and so on. I might end up never having the chance to enjoy my new, regret-free existence.

And then, there’s the innocent-bystander bug. Even though this whole project is about me, my little changes might tangle up the personal timelines of others. That would only lead to more regret, thereby defeating the whole purpose of this exercise.

And so, the work continues. I am, as I say, very close to the finish line with this project. Indeed, it could come at any time. But there’s no rush, right? Once I have a time machine, I can always travel back and invent it in the past.

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Trump supporters are people who know what they believe.
~ JC, Bonny Doon