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Apology Expected
There has been some big apology news recently, and I find myself inspired by it. If you missed the story, Congressman Ted Yoho called Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a “fucking bitch” right there on steps of the Capitol. Yes, you read that correctly: fucking bitch.

Those are not fightin’ words, because fightin’ words are usually a man-on-man phenomenon. In this case, it was more like a decency/righteousness throwdown, and that is not a good battlefield for yohos like Yoho to fight on. Lexi ate his lunch and then sent him home with a stern note to his mother.

I have chosen that decency/righteousness field as the site of the apology I am expecting. In that spirit, I will not be demanding that the apologizers admit that they were stupid. I’m not looking for the humiliation of the wrongdoers, and I will not be requiring an admission of moral turpitude. They don’t have to confess that they are corrupt or sociopathic or bad persons in any way. That conversation is best conducted between them and their Maker, if they have one.

So (if you are one of the millions I am talking to), please note that a simple, sincere apology will do. “I’m sorry I raised such a big stink about wearing a mask” would be a good start. That alone would not be sufficient, however. I would like you to acknowledge in some way the human suffering and death that may have been caused by the your intransigence. I admit that it’s hard to draw a line from one person’s unwillingness to wear a mask to someone else’s death from the virus, but I think it’s better to err on the side of politeness here and just cop to manslaughter. There, doesn’t that feel better?

Again, there is no need to debase yourself. Something like “I wasn’t thinking straight” would be acceptable, as long as it is accompanied by a deeply sorrowful facial expression. It might help to add an admission that you should have listened to people who actually knew a thing or two about epidemiology because, you know, they have been studying it all their lives. Instead of believing, that is, the wild conjectures of complete strangers who either know jack shit or are on Putin’s payroll.

You will not have to cast aspersions at others, including Donald Trump. You won’t have to disavow membership in the Republican Party or swear off Fox News. What I want is nothing more than an acceptance of personal responsibility; if others wish to step up and do the same, that is their choice — but I want to be clear that I expect it from everyone who participated in this mass hysteria of selfish negligence about something so simple as wearing a mask.

Furthermore, I do not want to hear anything about you learning your lesson and never being such a fool ever again. I would not believe such a claim, and I might even consider it as evidence that your apology was not truly heartfelt. Your future compliance with the rules of simple decency will be enforced solely by the honor system. For the record, that means conducting yourself with honesty, fairness, and integrity.

Yeah, I know that’s hard to do. Yoho couldn’t do it, and he covered himself with shame. I am expecting you to do better.

Please Note: Tim Eagan will read your comments but he is currently not publishing them.

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Trump supporters are people who know what they believe.
~ JC, Bonny Doon